How romantic

There I was, with an actual boyfriend on Valentine's Day who brought me actual flowers, freaking out about the bugs he unintentionally brought into my home with the bundles of flowers he hand-picked for me. At this point, I would have appreciated one lovely store bought bouquet. But it was what it was and it was up to me to do something about the pests.

“First, get all the flowers out of here and into the dumpster in the alley,” I commanded, now in full combat mode.

My young boyfriend Ryan looked like he was going to cry, but then he complied to my demands like a wounded solider, scooping up fistfuls of flowers and tearing down the stairs of my apartment to the garbage.

I dumped my bedding into large trash bags to take to the Laundromat. Next, I put the dogs in my car so they wouldn’t be hurt by the bug spray.

Ryan was running as fast as he could up and down the stairs with his arms filled with flowers while I was spraying the hell out of the ants and spiders. We were quite a team. We both got on our hands and knees and cleaned up the dead ants with paper towels, then took the bedding to the Laundromat. That’s how we spent Valentine’s Day, killing ants and washing bedding. How romantic. 

Spiders too

 Seeing ants in my bedroom made my skin crawl.

“Ryan!” I yelled. He grabbed some of the flowers and more ants ran out. I moved the bougainvillea, it stabbed my finger.

“Ouch!” I dripped blood on the white pillow case as a thick black column of ants marched by. They were scrambling all over the bed, crawling up the walls and down to the floor, from the bedroom to the bathroom. And then I noticed the spiders, huge hairy brown ones, big as a quarter, the whole place was crawling.

“What have you done?” I cried.

Ryan just stood there looking totally defeated. I was devastated. How was I going to clean up this mess?

“I’m sorry,” he said in a little boy voice.

“ You've got to help me get rid of these bugs,” I said hunting for the bug spray under my kitchen sink. But when I went in there, the ant party was going full throttle in the kitchen too.

The ants go marching

I was so touched by Ryan's Valentine's Day surprise that couldn't help from twirling in circles, excited to see all this beauty surrounding me. I ran to the kitchen as Ryan watched, delighted in my delirium.  Tulips, gardenias, sunflowers and daisies hung everywhere in the kitchen, from the window, on top of the refrigerator, on the kitchen table and chairs, even the floors were covered in an array of vibrant colors. I gasped as I entered each room of my tiny apartment, running back through the living room to the bedroom, into the pink tiled bathroom. Even it was filled with pretty fuchsia flowers; they covered the sink and tub. I never had a boyfriend who was that romantic on Valentine’s Day. I grabbed him and kissed him, tears welling up in my eyes.

“Thank you so much, you make me feel so special,” I said as a warm and fuzzy sensation started blooming inside of me.

“You are special,” he answered. I walked over to the bed and carefully moved the irises over to make room for us to sit. That’s when I saw them. Ants. Crawling. Marching. Hundreds of them. No thousands. The entire bed was wriggling with them.

Roses are red

Ryan didn't let me down; he made it a Valentine’s Day to remember. Somehow while I was at a business meeting, he managed to break into my apartment and decorate it with fresh flowers. Ryan actually hand-picked them, or stole them, from the front yards of well-tended Beverly Hills homes where immaculately manicured gardens are a work of art. I’m not talking about a few flowers here. He decorated my entire apartment with hundreds of them, in all imaginable varieties of blooms.

There were beautiful roses in shades of pinks, reds and yellows creating a sweet scent in my living room that made me dizzy as I entered. Dropping my briefcase and purse, I rubbed my eyes to make sure they were real. My mascara made big black circles around my eyes from rubbing them. Ryan looked concerned, as if he thought I was crying. He stood next to me, wiping off the black around my eyes while admiring the rose garden he had created.

“Ryan, what’s all this?” I asked in a daze, high from the overwhelming fragrance.

“Happy Valentine’s Day!” He threw his arms in the air and grabbed me with a big teddy bear hug. 

As we hugged, I peeked over his shoulder into my bedroom. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw stocks of irises in their deep robust purple on my bed that looked surreal like the ones Vincent Van Gogh painted. I didn't know how he knew that Irises are one of my very favorite flowers. I dropped my embrace and ran to see the magnificent buds. Framing them were bright fuchsia stocks of bougainvillea on my pillows as if they were growing toward the ceiling.

Timing is everything

Ryan loved having his picture taken at all the exclusive parties I was invited to cover for Palm Springs Life magazine. It seemed as though he saw this as a possible vehicle toward his success as an actor. Wherever we went, Ryan was sure to cause a splash. Both women and men in the LA party scene flirted with the young hunk which only fueled my interest in Ryan. I knew these were the shallow people who had never accepted me before but were now my bffs, calling at all hours of the night inviting me and my boyfriend to after hour parties. As long as I brought Ryan with me, then I was also part of the in crowd. Even with all this attention, I knew deep down in my heart it was time to say good-bye and get serious about finding a husband. The problem was timing.

Of course, on Halloween my favorite holiday, I couldn't break it off with him. Or Thanksgiving or New Year’s. But I promised myself, after the holidays, I’d start fresh. But then that plan didn't work because of two simple words. Valentine’s Day. 

The Society Editor

Ryan helped me celebrate my birthday by making reservations at my favorite restaurant, which just happened to be a client so the entire meal was comped. He did a nice job wrapping a present for me. It was a necklace he made out of noodles, like the ones kids make their moms for Mother’s Day. Even though I was disappointed, I decided to wait until the end of the summer to break it off with Ryan. His smile and those big brown eyes just melted my heart every time I considered ending it. Besides, Blondie and Elliott were best buddies by now and the two guys came over most evenings after I finished working to hang out. I made dinner, usually one of a handful of dishes. I cooked up some pasta with doctored up bottled sauce that I said was home made or I heated some cream of broccoli soup from a can that I added fresh vegetables to and lied about making from scratch. It was delicious with a baguette and green salad.

Summer ended, fall began with its promise of new beginnings. I got a side job working as the Around Town Correspondent for Palm Springs Life Magazine. That meant I was invited to literally every event in Los Angeles in the hopes that I would include it in my popular column. Ryan loved going with me to every party, movie premier, art and restaurant opening, play, black tie dinner, everything in Los Angeles. We got to go out and we didn’t have to spend any money. He craved the limelight but I missed staying home with Blondie. I didn’t really like hanging out with all those pretentious people who I didn’t know. 

Bringing Up Baby

My relationship with Ryan was just what I needed, light, fun and innocent. The auburn colored light flecks danced in his brown eyes as he talked and I laughed uncontrollably when he performed private break dance routines, completely naked. When we weren't playing with our dogs, I introduced Ryan to my favorite romantic comedies like the 1938 classic Bringing Up Baby with Katherine Hepburn and Cary Grant. I loved the scenes with Hepburn's character, a flighty heiress, and her "baby" leopard. Ryan even helped me stuff envelopes when I had to do big mailings for my clients.

At first, I didn't miss the fact that he had no money to take me out on dates or that we couldn't go on vacation together. I didn't care that we didn't have a future together. Our present was enough for now. Ryan was completely agreeable to my every whim and we never argued. He had what I referred to as “perm-a-smile” and even my cheeks hurt from smiling so much whenever he was around. He followed me sort of like a puppy does. I hesitated to bring him around my friends who were teasing me about my love affair with someone so young. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Plus, I knew we weren't going to last.  Besides, my 30^th birthday was coming up, and I definitely wanted to keep him around until then.