Great Expectations

Out of total desperation, I decided to join Great Expectations, the video dating service, (this was before dating websites even existed, before I knew anything about the World Wide Web). I never thought I would resort to joining a dating service. I had always been the kind of person who had my choice of men. My mom said I drop kicked men. But I argued that I was just being picky, not setting for someone who wasn't right for me. Now, I was starting to realize she was right. I was my own worse enemy when it came to the opposite sex. Maybe this service would help me slow down, take my time to get to know a man before I got into a relationship. Of course, when I went to make my video, Blondie came along with me.  

“I’m Susan and this is my dog Blondie,” I started my video. We were seated together in front of a vase of flowers, Blondie panting and staring at me as I spoke, her bad breath smelling like old, used tires mixed with rancid meat made me feel woozy. Older dogs get bad breath, even when owners take good care of their pet’s teeth. I had Blondie’s teeth regularly cleaned at the vet and actually brushed them nightly myself with beef flavored toothpaste. But she was 13-years old by this time and her breath really smelled her age.