A message from Blondie

As Gary was talking, I took a moment to look around his apartment and see what was beyond the filth. I noticed that his walls were decorated with photos of him in his tux being interviewed on various talk shows. Sheba was always at his side looking right at the camera. He saw me looking at the collection of memories,  hung way too high on the wall and crooked.

“Oh those are of me on the talk show circuit,” He proudly announced. “Once I got on one, they all wanted me,” he smiled then bent over to kiss me. I was totally taken off-guard, backing away from him as he moved closer to me.His actions startled Blondie who actually growled and showed her teeth. I took the opportunity to slide down under his arm until I was completely off the couch. Sitting on the floor, I saw a piece of toilet paper stuck to my shoe. That did it. That was totally gross.

 “I think she’s sending us a message here,” I said, standing up in front of him as he collapsed face first into the cushions.

“I like you, I really like you, Gary,” I said.

“But…” he added.

“But, I don’t know, I’m just not ready to get into a relationship. You’re absolutely adorable. So kind to my little dog. And so interesting. I’ve never met anyone quite like you. But this just isn’t going to work out between us.” I grabbed my purse and headed toward the door.

“Wait, you didn’t even eat your steak.”

“That’s okay. I’m not hungry anymore. I’ll see you later,” Blondie and I made a quick exit, both throwing up once outside.